~Confused more than ever~
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Sunday, August 28, 2005
2:17AM
i keep thinking its all a dream im gonna wake up and shell be here. then i open my eyes and i see no one i hear no one. what did i do to deserve this what did my dad do to deserve this. i just want to know. why would she do this. Ive been strong in front of ppl even my dad. it just isnt worth the tears althogh thats all i can do is cry when im alone . knowing i might not see her for a long time. tears wont get me newhere they wont solve the problem they wont wipe away my feelings. i just think of when my dad and mom got divorced how easily i forgot about her sure i think of her everynow and then but not enough i feel like that will happen to us and brigette like for some reason we wont talk nemore it will slowly stop until one day i realize i havent heard her voice in years. i havent seen her grow up i havent been there for her. i dont want to forget about brigette i love her soo much god it hurts so bad my stomach hurts just thinking about it in fact i need to go i think im about to be sick thank you michelle and keri for talking to me i love you both more than nething
Current mood:  crushed
Saturday, August 27, 2005
well tonight was interesting to say the least
My dad calls me around 6 asking me what im doin and im like about to go to work. he like when do u think youll be home im like idk 9ish or 10 he like ok then says something but i didnt hear him and he said nvm he calls again around 10 asking were i am im like on my way home. i told him i called kristy but she didnt answer so i asked where she was he said i dont know who cares about the bitch im ooo ok i guess they got in an argument. but no he comes home from work to find a note from kristy saying she doesnt love him nemore and that hes abusive which is bullshit my dad has never hit us so she can shove it up her ass and that she only stayed bc of me and tara she was worried for our safety when i read that i seriously wanted to hurt her and that my dad is still in love with my mom who by the way we havent talked to in years. she took brigette and kirsten with her she already told brigette everything and shes suppossed to see us in summer wow really typing all this makes it soo true like it was soo out of nowhere why would she do this it just really pisses me off she took everything of brigettes and kirsten which is fine but she took like every picture of brigette we seriously dont have one except whats on the computer. o man im really gonna miss brigette i really love her sooo sooo much so now tara and kurt are moving back in which will be cool i guess. i let michelle read the note she left shes thinks it bullshit to. she took like 5000 dollers out of my dads bank account which isnt her money whatsoever OMG i hate her soo much right now michelle just left. the cops came over like 30mins ago and rang the door bell and i was like wtf i was scared and then there like does tara stone live here we said no but she was here earlier why. somebody found her purse on the side of the road and returned it with everything in it still i think thats really nice bc im not sure i would have. she left it on top of her car. well i have to babysit at 745 till 2 so i should probably get some sleep. i thought i was holding up good until i typed all this now im just extremely pissed and upset bc i really not sure i can be away from brigette for soo long. if only you could read the note she left it was such crap like all it was lies. i really want to know what was goin on in her head. why would u tell a 6 year old that ur gonna leave ur daddy without saying goodbye and not see him until summer i just dont get it its soooo fucked up .and now i feel like a wimp bc the tears are pouring down my face and i cant stop it God i just really dotn understand ughhhh i just really think i need to go tell my dad i love him and go to bed
Current mood:  pissed off
Sunday, August 7, 2005
12:54PM
well yesterday me,michelle,christina,and ryan went to islands of adventure and universal. And well some weird stuff went down ill leave it at that tho lol. well i love my classes i have KERI in 3 of them and michelle in one. this is gonna be a great year i can already tell. o and me and michelle didnt make the volleyball so now we can hang out all the time and help each other with hw that sounds lame but we cant FAIL nobles class. now if coach calls me back bc its happened b4 this is exactly what im going to say to her."well coach you see since i didnt gain about 50 pounds this summer and didnt quit in the middle of the season last year i feel like im not truely qualified to play and id rather not be a cheerleader on the bench thanks anyway" haha i cant wait lol sutpid black dyke as michelles mom (pooky) says hahaha well as i see it we all know whos gonna play the most and im happy for thos ppl why should i waste my time. yesterday was lots of fun haha it wasnt me thats for sure lol well i think im gonna go
Current mood:  indescribable
Tuesday, July 5, 2005
6:32PM
well im in colorado and well let see today i went golfing something ive only done 1 b4 and i was too horrible. I always thought golfing was a lazy sport well i was wrong holy crap with all the hills they have i felt so tried after we were golfing for like 5 hours. then we went to sonic oooo i love that place i really wish we would get one in palm coast. came here hung around play reg. nintendo till my finger started hurting after like 20 mins or so. yesturday i woke up and me and my grandpa went to colorado state university bc they had 4th of july stuff there and my grandpa had electrical stuff or something i just looked around helped very lil and got free ice cream lol met some of their friends there nice. Then came home fell asleep for a lil while bc they wake up so early here like im talking 630 everyday . then woke up and went back to the college for the actual event it was fun i was freezing came home and went to bed thats all and i have to get off and oh i dont have aim here and i cant get the express bc the firewall and i dont no how to allow it so sry guys.
Monday, June 27, 2005
11:19AM
well i havent updated in a long time everything is good im goin to colorado on sat for a month and the school times have changed
2005-2006 Starting & Ending Times
Middle Schools : 7:15 - 2:00
High Schools : 8:15 - 3:00
Elementary Schools : 9:15 - 4:00
i went on flaglerschools.com
incase u dont believe me
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
10:45PM
guess what everyone i got a new phone so leave ur number plz
shotts quitting what a loser he begged me to do books for him next year and i say yes then he goes and quits so now me and ana have nothing to do in winter bc she better not be playing basketball
Current mood:  tired
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
9:16PM
I just wanted to say i love marlena day!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, April 2, 2005
7:33PM
Today i did NOTHING.....
Oh wait i did do something i hung out with Michelly!!!! And not Randi!!!! Cause i dotn love her lol j/k im hanging out with her right now!!!!
We ate hamburger helper it was yummy!!!!
And we watched a Cinderella Story!!! Chad is so hot!!!!
I LOVE RANDI
I LOVE YOU 2 CANDACE!!LOL
were going to eat cookie dough now so randi will update later!!
♥randi and candace
Current mood:  hyper
Monday, March 21, 2005
6:13PM
I want to return my straightener but i dotn think theyll take it back i want the other one i saw it this weekend at target with michelly lol and now i want it really bad so neone want a straightener that you can use on wet and dry hair that has barely been used let me know but im gonna see if i can just return it first
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
9:19PM
everyone read this i know its long but its interesting and tell me what u think bout it
This article is a classic of anthropological literature. In it Horace Miner gives readers a thorough and exciting ethnographic account of the myriad of taboos and ceremonial behaviors that permeate the everyday activities of the members of a magic-ridden society. Focusing on secret rituals that are believed to prevent disease while simultaneously beautifying the body, Miner demonstrates the importance of ceremonial specialists such as the "holy-mouth-men" and the "listeners" in directing even the most routine aspects of daily life among the Nacirema.
The anthropologist has become so familiar with the diversity of ways in which different peoples behave in similar situations that he is not apt to be surprised by even the most exotic customs. In fact, if all of the logically possible combinations of behavior have not been found somewhere in the world, he is apt to suspect that they must be present in some yet undescribed tribe. This point has, in fact, been expressed with respect to clan organization by Murdock (1949:71). In this light, the magical beliefs and practices of the Nacirema present such unusual aspects that it seems desirable to describe them as an example of the extremes to which human behavior can go.
Professor Linton first brought the ritual of the Nacirema to the attention of anthropologists twenty years ago (1936: 326), but the culture of this people is still very poorly understood. They are a North American group living in the territory between the Canadian Cree, the Yaqui and Tarahumare of Mexico, and the Carib and Arawak of the Antilles. Little is known of their origin, though tradition states that they came from the east. According to Nacirema mythology, their nation was originated by a culture hero, Notgnishaw, who is otherwise known for two great feats of strength -- the throwing of a piece of wampum across the river Pa-To-Mac and the chopping down of a cherry tree in which the Spirit of Truth resided.
Nacirema culture is characterized by a highly developed market economy which has evolved in a rich natural habitat. While much of the people's time is devoted to economic pursuits, a large part of the fruits of these labors and a considerable portion of the day are spent in ritual activity. The focus of this activity is the human body, the appearance and health of which loom as a dominant concern in the ethos of the people. While such a concern is certainly not unusual, its ceremonial aspects and associated philosophy are unique.
The fundamental belief underlying the whole system appears to be that the human body is ugly and that its natural tendency is to debility and disease. Incarcerated in such a body, man's only hope is to avert these characteristics through the use of the powerful influences of ritual and ceremony. Every household has one or more shrines devoted to this purpose. The more powerful individuals in the society have several shrines in their houses and, in fact, the opulence of a house is often referred to in terms of the number of such ritual centers it possesses. Most houses are of wattle and daub construction, but the shrine rooms of the more wealthy are walled with stone. Poorer families imitate the rich by applying pottery plaques to their shrine walls.
While each family has at least one such shrine, the rituals associated with it are not family ceremonies but are private and secret. The rites are normally only discussed with children, and then only during the period when they are being initiated into these mysteries. I was able, however, to establish sufficient rapport with the natives to examine these shrines and to have the rituals described to me.
The focal point of the shrine is a box or chest which is built into the wall. In this chest are kept the many charms and magical potions without which no native believes he could live. These preparations are secured from a variety of specialized practitioners. The most powerful of these are the medicine men, whose assistance must be rewarded with substantial gifts. However, the medicine men do not provide the curative potions for their clients, but decide what the ingredients should be and then write them down in an ancient and secret language. This writing is understood only by the medicine men and by the herbalists who, for another gift, provide the required charm.
The charm is not disposed of after it has served its purpose, but is placed in the charm-box of the household shrine. As these magical materials are specific for certain ills, and the real or imagined maladies of the people are many, the charm-box is usually full to overflowing. The magical packets are so numerous that people forget what their purposes were and fear to use them again. While the natives are very vague on this point, we can only assume that the idea in retaining all the old magical materials is that their presence in the charm-box, before which the body rituals are conducted, will in some way protect the worshipper.
Beneath the charm-box is a small font. Each day every member of the family, in succession, enters the shrine room, bows his head before the charm-box, mingles different sorts of holy water in the font, and proceeds with a brief rite of ablution. The holy waters are secured from the Water Temple of the community, where the priests conduct elaborate ceremonies to make the liquid ritually pure.
In the hierarchy of magical practitioners, and below the medicine men in prestige, are specialists whose designation is best translated "holy-mouth-men. The Nacirema have an almost pathological horror and fascination with the mouth, the condition of which is believed to have a supernatural influence on all social relationships. Were it not for the rituals of the mouth, they believe that their teeth would fall out, their gums bleed, their jaws shrink, their friends desert them, and their lovers reject them. (They also believe that a strong relationship exists between oral and moral characteristics. For example, there is a ritual ablution of the mouth for children which is supposed to improve their moral fiber.)
The daily body ritual performed by everyone includes a mouth-rite. Despite the fact that these people are so punctilious about care of the mouth, this rite involves a practice which strikes the uninitiated stranger as revolting. It was reported to me that the ritual consists of inserting a small bundle of hog hairs into the mouth, along with certain magical powders, and then moving the bundle in a highly formalized series of gestures.
In addition to the private mouth-rite, the people seek out a holy-mouth-man once or twice a year. These practitioners have an impressive set of paraphernalia, consisting of a variety of augers, awls, probes, and prods. The use of these objects in the exorcism of the evils of the mouth involves almost unbelievable ritual torture of the client. The holy-mouth-man opens the client's mouth and, using the above-mentioned tools, enlarges any holes which decay may have created in the teeth. Magical materials are put into these holes. If there are no naturally occurring holes in the teeth, large sections of one or more teeth are gouged out so that the supernatural substance can be applied. In the client's view, the purpose of these ministrations is to arrest decay and to draw friends. The extremely sacred and traditional character of the rite is evident in the fact that the natives return to the holy-mouth-men year after year, despite the fact that their teeth continue to decay.
It is to be hoped that, when a thorough study of the Nacirema is made, there will be a careful inquiry into the personality structure of these people. One has but to watch the gleam in the eye of a holy-mouth-man, as he jabs an awl into an exposed nerve, to suspect that a certain amount of sadism is involved. If this can be established, a very interesting pattern emerges, for most of the population shows definite masochistic tendencies. It was to these that Professor Linton referred in discussing a distinctive part of the daily body ritual which is performed only by men. This part of the rite involves scraping and lacerating the surface of the face with a sharp instrument. Special women's rites are performed only four times during each lunar month, but what they lack in frequency is made up in barbarity. As part of this ceremony, women bake their heads in small ovens for about an hour. The theoretically interesting point is that what seems to be a preponderantly masochistic people have developed sadistic specialists.
The medicine men have an imposing temple, or latipso, in every community of any size. The more elaborate ceremonies required to treat very sick patients can only be performed at this temple. These ceremonies involve not only the thaumaturge but a permanent group of vestal maidens who move sedately about the temple chambers in distinctive costume and headdress.
The latipso ceremonies are so harsh that it is phenomenal that a fair proportion of the realty sick natives who enter the temple ever recover. Small children whose indoctrination is still incomplete have been known to resist attempts to take them to the temple because "that is where you go to die." Despite this fact, sick adults are not only willing but eager to undergo the protracted ritual purification, if they can afford to do so. No matter how ill the supplicant or how grave the emergency, the guardians of many temples will not admit a client if he cannot give a rich gift to the custodian. Even after one has gained admission and survived the ceremonies, the guardians will not permit the neophyte to leave until he makes still another gift.
The supplicant entering the temple is first stripped of all his or her clothes. In every-day life the Nacirema avoids exposure of his body and its natural functions. Bathing and excretory acts are performed only in the secrecy of the household shrine, where they are ritualized as part of the body-rites. Psychological shock results from the fact that body secrecy is suddenly lost upon entry into the latipso. A man, whose own wife has never seen him in an excretory act, suddenly finds himself naked and assisted by a vestal maiden while he performs his natural functions into a sacred vessel. This sort of ceremonial treatment is necessitated by the fact that the excreta are used by a diviner to ascertain the course and nature of the client's sickness. Female clients, on the other hand, find their naked bodies are subjected to the scrutiny, manipulation, and prodding of the medicine men.
Few supplicants in the temple are well enough to do anything but lie on their hard beds. The daily ceremonies, like the rites of the holy-mouth-men, involve discomfort and torture. With ritual precision, the vestals awaken their miserable charges each dawn and roll them about on their beds of pain while performing ablutions, in the formal movements of which the maidens are highly trained. At other times they insert magic wands in the supplicant's mouth or force him to eat substances which are supposed to be healing. From time to time the medicine men come to their clients and jab magically treated needles into their flesh. The fact that these temple ceremonies may not cure, and may even kill the neophyte, in no way decreases the people's faith in the medicine men.
There remains one other kind of practitioner, known as a "listener." This witch-doctor has the power to exorcise the devils that lodge in the heads of people who have been bewitched. The Nacirema believe that parents bewitch their own children. Mothers are particularly suspected of putting a curse on children while teaching them the secret body rituals. The counter-magic of the witch-doctor is unusual in its lack of ritual. The patient simply tells the "listener" all his troubles and fears, beginning with the earliest difficulties he can remember. The memory displayed by the Nacirema in these exorcism sessions is truly remarkable. It is not uncommon for the patient to bemoan the rejection he felt upon being weaned as a babe, and a few individuals even see their troubles going back to the traumatic effects of their own birth.
In conclusion, mention must be made of certain practices which have their base in native esthetics but which depend upon the pervasive aversion to the natural body and its functions. There are ritual fasts to make fat people thin and ceremonial feasts to make thin people fat. Still other rites are used to make women's breasts large if they are small, and smaller if they are large. General dissatisfaction with breast shape is symbolized in the fact that the ideal form is virtually outside the range of human variation. A few women afflicted with almost inhuman hyper-mammary development are so idolized that they make a handsome living by simply going from village to village and permitting the natives to stare at them for a fee.
Reference has already been made to the fact that excretory functions are ritualized, routinized, and relegated to secrecy. Natural reproductive functions are similarly distorted. Intercourse is taboo as a topic and scheduled as an act. Efforts are made to avoid pregnancy by the use of magical materials or by limiting intercourse to certain phases of the moon. Conception is actually very infrequent. When pregnant, women dress so as to hide their condition. Parturition takes place in secret, without friends or relatives to assist, and the majority of women do not nurse their infants.
Our review of the ritual life of the Nacirema has certainly shown them to be a magic-ridden people. It is hard to understand how they have managed to exist so long under the burdens which they have imposed upon themselves. But even such exotic customs as these take on real meaning when they are viewed with the insight provided by Malinowski when he wrote (1948:70):
Looking from far and above, from our high places of safety in the developed civilization, it is easy to see all the crudity and irrelevance of magic. But without its power and guidance early man could not have mastered his practical difficulties as he has done, nor could man have advanced to the higher stages of civilization.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
10:00PM
I realized a few things today
1.no one ever means sorry when they say it so from now on if ur goin to say sorry to me for ne reason ur better off just not saying it.
2.that i love randi and i miss not hangin out with her
3. that my closet friends keep things from me and say they didnt mean to or say SORRY for not telling me
4.that i need to find someone to like or have a crush on
5. that im out of the loop ....again
6. that you cant have 2 best friends it one or the other
7. i dont have a BEST friend i have 2 close friends who are best friends with each other
8. that im never home nemore and i think i should be bc i feel like tara and i dont want to be her
9.that i love michelle and i know she means the best but shes always caught in the middle
i think thats it but u never know
congrats junior girls in powder puff
dack and michelle u did great
natasha and christina were awesome
thanks randi keri and jessica for making the boring game fun love u guys
Current mood:  pessimistic
Monday, February 14, 2005
10:27PM
Im not sure if i should put this in here
why do people change everyone says everyone changes neone look at me lately yea i havent and now that i look at it im not so sure its a good thing i hate change that involves people like with brittney thats how i lost her then today it was like a smack in the face not once but twice i just HATE how people lie and are hypocritical about things if ur gonna keep things from me then your one of the lowest ppl on my list Just sit there and lie to me for 2 weeks keep it from me when i thought you were suppossed to be one of my best friends i dont understand you. what else r u keeping from me. might as well tell me now i mean im pretty pissed so im not sure u could make it much worse. ur not perfect in my eyes nemore. ur not the one i look up to ne more
why do things have to change
i wish i could be 4 again nothing was bad
age 5 till now has sucked and i guess i have noone to blame but myself
i feel so out of place and out of touch with people im not sure it will ever be the same
Thank you michelle for everything your basically the only constant i have nemore i guess and i love u for that
o and amanda im not mad at u i love u and what u did was a lesson u learned and i understand that
Current mood: crushed Current music: there goes my life- ironic uh
Sunday, February 13, 2005
8:06PM
im trying to read recent friends and its not working and my neck hurts really really bad
Thursday, November 25, 2004
10:45AM
O my fucking god i go to photobucket to wait for 15 mins and it say they wont take new member till dec 1 it said yesturday only between 11 and 1 o my god im sooooo pissed ass holes
Current mood: pissed off
9:04AM
why do i get all these emails sayin want to increase ur penis size?
no thank you i am very happy with my penis size and so is ana ;) sry michelle u just werent workin for me lol
well lets see i dont want to update till 11 bc thats when i can get on photobucket and sign up therefore i can post some pictures finally look at that fuckin lil star it doesnt look very naughty to me
Current mood:  naughty
Thursday, November 11, 2004
11:38AM
well damn i tried to put pictures on here and im just to stupid to figure out how to do it
well i havent updated in a long time but lets see i quite basketball im gonna play club volleyball instead theres a meeting today
i have a cold
i have the lowest grade out of everyone in shotts class
im gonna be babysittin a lot now bc renee a lady my works with told everyone i watched her 2 daughters and now everyone is asking kristy for our number i babysat these 2 lil boys last night they were so cute and talkative but they were soo funny
the oldest one who was 4 said he was suppossed to take a bath or hed be a stinker im like lol ok so he like but if i get undressed i dont want u to laugh at me im like why would i laugh at u he like youre gonna laugh at my and he points down to his penial region lol thats funny way to say it and im like i wont laugh i promise hes like ok and then he just whips is pants of and is like see and hes like waving his penis in my face basically im like yep yep that enough of that how bout u get in the tub now but no he didnt want to he wanted to run around the house naked he i just thought u would laugh at me im like no and he like well ok so im wonderin maybe i should have laughed therefore he wouldnt have waved his penis in my face. then he gets out and is like im think im gonna were my colorful underware and im u do that and he say do u like to wear colorful underware im like o yea all the time and then he goes and talks bout underware for 5 mins
another story they were playin with these lil stick things and hes like how bout i hide then and u find em im say yes and then he goes and trys to stick it doen my shirt im like woah now lets find a better spot and then were putting them away and since its a game u need all the piece and we couldnt find one i was searchin everywhere for like 10 mins then i feel something in my bra it is was in there the whole time im like damn u no there to big when u lose things in them lol well i had fun i only have to watch them for like 2 or 3 hours and got 20 dollers so im fine wiht that randi's comming over latter then marlena is takin us to the volleyball thing so i need to go clean my room
Current mood:  amused Current music: colt 45
Monday, October 25, 2004
7:31PM
whoooo hooooo 2 days left till my birthday cant wait bc now ill finally have money
Current mood: giddy
Sunday, October 17, 2004
10:04PM
it was my daddys birthday today that mean whos birthday is in 10 day oooo thats right its mine
well on friday i was talking to kristy and she was sayin since i havent been hanging out with brittney at all this year therefore we cant get in fights i have been a happier person untill she said that i just realized it was true
but i dont really have the memory to go back and tell u everything that has been goin on but i do have one thing i got a perfect 80 in shott i went in there and i got a 76 on my exam there for i had like a 78. something im like i cant get a c in here so i asked him if he added my makeup work i gave in on friday and he didnt so he added it up again and i had like 79.2 and im like freakin out that he wouldnt round it up then i asked him if he added the als stuff and he didnt so when it was all said and done i got a perfect 80 so if i didnt go in there i would have got a C on my report card when i actually deserved a B well im done im bored
and in case u dont remember 10 days until my birthday dont forget its a wednesday
Current mood: ecstatic
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Hey candace thought you might want to hear this...lol i dunno what thats about but figured you'd like to know
PrincezzBaby2004: hey tara
TayTay5986: hey
PrincezzBaby2004: sup?
PrincezzBaby2004: hey ur sister is pregnant?
PrincezzBaby2004: ??
TayTay5986: um no
TayTay5986: why
PrincezzBaby2004: because alot of people were saying that and I thought she was then i was like her mom would kill her
TayTay5986: yea probally...um not that i know of why who is saying that
PrincezzBaby2004: ortavia and them said she said she was by matt davis the football player one
Current mood:  confused
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